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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Trending via X:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Spotted on Discord:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Trending via Reddit:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Making waves on TikTok:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Making waves on Messenger:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Never trust a wet fart.

Humorous warning about trusting unpredictable, damp farts with a playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, folks: Never trust a wet fart 💨🙅‍♂️ Just like lukewarm coffee and week-old pizza, some things are best left untested 😂 #LessonLearned"

, , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

86 shares on Discord this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

12 shares on Discord this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Making waves on Threads:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I need a massage for my brain.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Shared recently on Facebook:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Just landed via X:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

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