New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Commentary:
“Looks like COVID got tired of just affecting your health, now it’s coming for your ears too! Stay safe out there, you might end up binge-listening to shows about cat fashion or underwater basket weaving thanks to this new variant.”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

    Commentary:
    “Seppuku? Ain’t nobody got time for that! 🙅‍♂️ Let’s aim for a life goal that doesn’t involve sharp objects or ceremonial self-disembowelment, shall we? 😂 #GoalsWithoutGore”

  • Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

    Commentary:
    Uh oh, looks like Santa traded his milk and cookies for a boxing glove this year! 🎅🥊 Who knew he could pack such a punch over a dietary preference? Next year, maybe leave out some extra sturdy wall repair kits just in case! 🔨😅

  • I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

    Commentary:
    “Pan-fried: making mouths water since forever 🍳🤤 But seriously, who wants shoe-flavored food? 🚫👟 Keep the frying pan away from the footwear, please! 😂”

  • When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic childhood technique of adding that ‘and a half’ to sound more grown-up 🧒🏼. But as we reach the big 4-0, it’s suddenly more about subtracting those years! 🎉😆 #ForeverYoung”

  • Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

    Commentary:
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  • Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic parental strategy of letting your kids marinate in confusion and cornstalks a bit longer. 🌽😂 Nothing builds character like a good old corn maze adventure! Just don’t forget to pack some snacks and a map (or GPS… just saying)! 🗺️ #LostAndFoundInACornMaze”