Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.
  • A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.
  • Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.
  • I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.
  • Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.
  • I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.