18 funny randomness quotes - Wordgag

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

May 20, 2026

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

May 20, 2026

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

May 20, 2026

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Mar 30, 2026

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Mar 30, 2026

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Mar 30, 2026

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Mar 29, 2026

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Mar 29, 2026

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Mar 28, 2026

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Mar 28, 2026

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Mar 27, 2026

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Mar 27, 2026

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Mar 26, 2026

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Mar 26, 2026

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Mar 25, 2026

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Mar 25, 2026

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Mar 25, 2026

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Mar 24, 2026