Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

9 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Trending via Reddit:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Going viral on Discord:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Reported on Telegram:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Spotted on Facebook:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old cleaning strategy of selective visibility! 🧹🕶️ When you hit your 40s, suddenly dust bunnies become invisible until your guests arrive. It's like magic, but without the sparkling clean finish! ✨ Dust or dazzle, the choice is yours! 😄

40s, adulting, age, cleaning, expectations, eyesight, guest, humor, level, readers, related, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

9 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Trending via Twitch:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Reported on X:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Just shared via Threads:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴