Commentary:
They're judging, but I've got my X-ray vision on, so who's the real hero here? 🦸♂️👀🔍
61 Funny commentary quotes
“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.
Commentary:
Sounds like Gen Z is swiping left on procreation! 🚫📱👶
They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.
Commentary:
Finally, a list on my phone I actually want to read 📱😂 #EpsteinAlbum
“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?
Commentary:
Normalize laughing at ourselves for not being normal! 😆🤷♂️
“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”
Commentary:
Eternal rewards program: Join now, redeem never. Heaven's got the best points system! 😇💸😂
I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.
Commentary:
So, human rights are just like my gym membership—everyone talks about them, but nobody actually uses them 🏋️🤣🌍
People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.
Commentary:
Reality: now available in HD! 😂📺🌐 #UpgradeComplete
I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.
Commentary:
Guess I'm just doing my part to keep the universe's snack supply and bossing quota in balance! 🍕📈😅
Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.
Commentary:
Silent discos for introverts are the future! 📚🤫🎧
I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.
Commentary:
When you realize the holiday spirit is just a spooky HR meeting with festive lights 👻🎄🤑