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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,736

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Spotted on WeChat:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Making waves on YouTube:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Making waves on Discord:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Trending via Telegram:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Spotted on Twitch:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Just landed via Facebook:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Witty text on a humorous quote about email etiquette and reply expectations.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Receiving an email telling you not to reply is like getting a warning label on a toaster that says 'Do not use underwater.' Thanks for the tip, Captain Obvious!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Threads this month:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

64 shares on Slack this month:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

62 shares on Threads this month:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

28 shares on X this month:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Breaking via Discord:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Going viral on Instagram:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Live now on Threads:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

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