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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Without freedom of speech, we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1665 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,827

Funny Quotes Topics

14,654

Funny Quotes Images

11,827

1 minute ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Live now on Instagram:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Shared recently on Discord:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Trending via Snapchat:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Making waves on Facebook:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

2 months ago

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of someone running a one-woman marathon—without even breaking a sweat! 🏃‍♀️💨 When she's not into you, she's probably got a million things to do… and zero time for your dramas. 😅💁‍♀️ Guess it's time to let her busy schedule keep her company—preferably somewhere far, far away from your inbox! 📭😂

busier, dating, humor, interest, nobody, rejection, sarcasm, woman

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1665 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,827

Funny Quotes Topics

14,654

Funny Quotes Images

11,827

1 minute ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Shared recently on Facebook:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Trending via TikTok:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Freshly posted on X:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Going viral on Messenger:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Just shared via Instagram:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Live now on Facebook:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

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