Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,255

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Trending via YouTube:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Just shared via Facebook:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Giving off "I could fight a bear" vibes while secretly being the bear's cuddle buddy 😂🐻🌸

attitude, aura, being, having, humor, irony, just, normalize, personality, sweetheart, threatening, threatening aura, vibe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, cheese, comfort, comfort food, eat, eating, food, humor, indulgence, just, need, shredded, shredded cheese, snack, sometimes, straight
I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

0

2 months ago

believe, disbelief, funny situation, humor, i, loud, morning, motorcycle, neighbor, neighbors, noise, over, running, running over, situation, someone, tomorrow
Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

0

2 months ago

age, explode, humor, loud, men, sneeze, sound
Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

0

2 months ago

cookie, craving, diet, feeling, food, food joke, humor, joke, snack, weird
Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, cause, dynamics, family, family dynamics, hanging, humor, interesting, oh, parenting, parents, self-awareness, why
Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, comparison, drink, feeling, foot, humor, sensation, sparkling, sparkling water, taste, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Threads this month:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

73 shares on X this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Trending via Reddit:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Making waves on X:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Just landed via X:

Happy new fear!

Trending via Twitch:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Making waves on Slack:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨