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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,964

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Making waves on YouTube:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Making waves on Discord:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Live now on Instagram:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Giving off "I could fight a bear" vibes while secretly being the bear's cuddle buddy 😂🐻🌸

attitude, aura, being, having, humor, irony, just, normalize, personality, sweetheart, threatening, threatening aura, vibe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

1 month ago
annoyance, apps, frustration, hate, i, importance, important, interruptions, music, open, shut, technology, think
Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

1 month ago
cauliflower, dead, eye, food, humor, irony, joke, plant-based, ribs, taste, tell, vegan
You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

1 month ago
bottle, communication, drinking, full, fun, humor, leave, message, need, party, tequila
Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

1 month ago
commitment, engagement, getting, humor, just, love, marriage, married, need, relationship, soon, spouse, wedding
Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

1 month ago
9pm, adulthood, age, bedtime, humor, midnight, reality, sleep, transition, welcome
Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

1 month ago
chomsky, crazy, crazy name, humor, hungry, name, noam, Noam Chomsky, sound

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just shared via X:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Making waves on Slack:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Going viral on WeChat:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Going viral on TikTok:

Is this art or trash?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

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Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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