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Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Just landed via Threads:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Just shared via YouTube:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Breaking via X:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Just landed via YouTube:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Making waves on X:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Spotted on Threads:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

4 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about enjoying third-wheeling with fun couples, playful and humorous in tone.

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Looks like you're the VIP guest at the Love Triangle Gala! 🎉🚴‍♀️❤️

couple, enjoy, fun, i, interaction, opinion, social, social interaction, third, third wheel, unpopular, unpopular opinion, wheel

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88 shares on Threads this month:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

88 shares on Threads this month:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

13 shares on Discord this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

61 shares on Slack this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Trending via Pinterest:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Seen just now on X:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Going viral on Reddit:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Going viral on Messenger:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Going viral on X:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

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Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

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Activity Log ✨

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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