Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Trending via Threads:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Just landed via Discord:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Live now on Messenger:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Just shared via Slack:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Just shared via WeChat:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning down my car stereo like it's a pair of glasses for my ears! 🎶👵🚗

aging, better, car, eyesight, fun, humor, minute, next, stereo, turning, young, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, just, know, learning, life, mistake, repetition, same, sure, times
You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

0

2 months ago

age, asking, changes, eyesight, getting, getting older, humor, instructions, keep, know, life, life changes, older, print, small, small print
Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

0

3 months ago

arts, belt, black, black belt, fight, humor, martial, martial arts, Monday, motivation, psychological, psychological warfare, stress, warfare, workweek
My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

0

5 months ago

ancient, body, creaky, humor, plumbing, questionable, temple
My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

0

2 months ago

before, behavior, child, child behavior, dislike, eater, even, food, food dislike, humor, kid, kids, knowing, parenting, picky, picky eater, superpower
Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

0

2 months ago

activity, behavior, cat, dominance, entertainment, funny activity, humor, mischievous, over, owner, pet, pet behavior, pet owner, playful, reason, room, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Just landed via X:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Breaking via Reddit:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Breaking via Facebook:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Breaking via Messenger:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Spotted on Snapchat:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨