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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

21 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Spotted on Instagram:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Just shared via TikTok:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Trending via Threads:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Just shared via Slack:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Trending via X:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Going viral on YouTube:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Home » Funny Next Quotes

97 Funny next quotes

Funny next quotes 😂🤔: Get ready to chuckle your way through our collection of upcoming zingers! Think of them as the confetti of wisdom, showering your day with humor and a dash of insight. These gems will have you nodding in agreement while trying not to snort your coffee. Hang tight and prepare for a laughter ride that keeps on giving. Your daily dose of humor is just a quote away!

New funny next quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Commentary:
Just flew out of the cocoon and already getting asked for a five-year plan. 🦋✨📈
4 days ago
Share →: One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Commentary:
I guess my spice rack now outranks my social calendar 😂🍳 #AdultingAdventures
5 days ago
Share →: I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Commentary:
🤖🧠 vs. 😇😜: Place your bets, folks! My money's on stupidity for its ability to never learn its lesson!
5 days ago
Share →: Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine: close eyes, open apps! 😴📱📚
6 days ago
Share →: Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Commentary:
Wow, I guess someone's expecting a Titanic love story in about 25 years! 🚢😂👶
6 days ago
Share →: Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Commentary:
"Calamari tried and survived… marriage, here I come! 🦑💍🤣"
6 days ago
Share →: My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Commentary:
😂 "When your therapist didn't realize they just made the cut list! 🙈✂️ #SorryNotSorry"
6 days ago
Share →: For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Commentary:
"Forget magic wands, this trick could really disappear some assets! 🪄💼💸🤣"
1 week ago
Share →: Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Commentary:
"Is Monday even real if you can't see it from here? 🎉☕️😴 #SundayScariesBegone"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Commentary:
"Wow, a box with a 20-year retirement plan! 🗃️📦✨ Who knew cardboard could be so future-focused? 😂 #BoxGoals"

For even more funny next quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny next quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

21 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Spotted on Threads:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Going viral on Slack:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Going viral on TikTok:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Going viral on Reddit:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Making waves on Instagram:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Trending via Discord:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

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