Commentary:
Yawning: the universal symbol for "Oops, my brain is on screensaver mode" 😴🧠💬
46 Funny minute quotes
A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.
Commentary:
Sounds like toddlers have mastered time management and chaos creation all at once! 😅🍼💥
Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.
Commentary:
That moment when you're time traveling through eternity using either a microwave minute or someone else's phone theater 😂📱🍿
Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).
Commentary:
When you're a master chef in your own kitchen and somehow broke at the same time 🥑💸👩🍳.
If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.
Commentary:
Looks like the last minute is the real MVP of my schedule! 😂⏰✨
I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.
Commentary:
Procrastination has never been so productive! 😂🔍📚
If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.
Commentary:
Remember, Mary's water broke, not their patience! 😂🛒💦
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Commentary:
Counting sheep and doing nothing takes planning! 🐑📅 Let me pencil that in! 😆
If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.
Commentary:
Like asking if I've got just one potato chip: impossible! 😂📱🍟
One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.
Commentary:
When did I go from wild nights to wild nights of spotless carpets? 🧹🤣