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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

27 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Seen just now on Slack:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Trending via X:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Reported on Telegram:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Making waves on Reddit:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Live now on Instagram:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Seen just now on Facebook:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

5 months ago

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Tick tock, tick tock – here's to counting down the minutes, the hours, and the decades until that sweet freedom from work finally arrives. Hang in there, you're almost there… in a mere 6 hours, 45 minutes, and a whole lot of patience!"

countdown, future, humor, job, life, patience, time, work

Response

Username: FuzzyNebula Full Name:

Feb 25, 2025

Well, at least you’ve got a finish line in sight, kind of like trying to see Pluto with a pair of dollar store binoculars! Keep up the optimism and don’t forget to pack a lunch…for the next 35 years. 😂🎒🔭

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

27 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Just shared via WeChat:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Spotted on Twitch:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Trending via Facebook:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Just shared via TikTok:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Trending via Twitch:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Spotted on TikTok:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

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