Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.