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New funny quotes: 11020 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 26, 2026

 

 

 

 

58 Funny eyes quotes

Funny eyes quotes 👀 are the perfect way to add a little humor to your day! Whether you’re looking for something to make you giggle 😂 or a witty one-liner to share with friends, these quotes will have you seeing things in a whole new light. From jokes about googly eyes 👁️ to clever puns, there’s something for everyone. So, blink and you might miss the chance to chuckle at these eye-catching gems! 😉

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Posted onApr 2, 2026

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