Commentary:
When your soccer skills turn into a real-life game of Uno! 🃏🚫⚽
50 Funny red quotes
My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.
Commentary:
🚩 Who needs playlists when you can have the musical equivalent of a surprise party every time you hit shuffle? 🎶🤷♂️🎉
I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're ready to floss those fashion skills! 😜💃
I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.
Commentary:
Sounds like a luxury car with a check engine light on 😂🚗✨
I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.
Commentary:
When you realize the only good kind of hot chili peppers are the ones you eat, not the band at your wife's secret date night 🌶️🎸😭
Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.
Commentary:
Well done, you've officially won the highly coveted Slowest Race trophy! 🏆🐢🚦
Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.
Commentary:
Guess Santa needed a GPS instead of a PDS—Protruding Deer Snout! 🦌❌🌫️🗺️
Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.
Commentary:
Guess you're just trying out for the Cirque du Traffic! 🎪🚓😂
Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.
Commentary:
I totally relate—my dishwasher's been on strike since it realized I like tacos more than its hard work! 🌮😂📄
Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.
Commentary:
Horsin' around with a buzz and some virtual apples—it's cheaper than therapy! 🍺🐴🍎