Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

358 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,627

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,627

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Trending via Discord:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Trending via Facebook:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Going viral on Discord:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Making waves on YouTube:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

6 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you drop a knowledge bomb, and everyone looks at you like you're wearing a tinfoil hat 🤓🛸#JustResearchThings

always, communication, crazy, knowledge, people, perception, read, reading, research, sound, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

2 months ago

competition, creativity, diss, diss track, expression, going, hate, humor, i, love, much, music, personalization, poetry, rivalry, take, track, writing
If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

3 months ago

advice, back, college, ever, ghost, haunt, humor, hydrate, i, me, self-reflection, tell
“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

5 months ago

after, balance, bell, diet, drive, exercise, fast, fast food, fitness, food, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, i, lifestyle, say, taco, Taco Bell, through, working, workout
Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

2 months ago

balance, drink, health, humor, hydration, limit, me, screen, screen time, self-care, someone, time, water
Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

2 months ago

advice, ask, cues, date, dating, dating advice, declarative, declarative statements, feel, fellas, humor, interrogation, lady, never, questions, social, social cues, statements, strong, sure
Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

2 months ago

advice, humor, life, life advice, motivation, nothing, procrastination, timeline, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

81 shares on Twitch this month:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

16 shares on Slack this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

33 shares on X this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

68 shares on Threads this month:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

25 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Trending via Reddit:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Just landed via Telegram:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Trending via Pinterest:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Just landed via Slack:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Breaking via Threads:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨