Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.