Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.
  • Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.
  • My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.
  • I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.
  • Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.
  • Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.