14 funny receipt quotes - Wordgag

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

May 30, 2026

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

May 29, 2026

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

May 28, 2026

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

May 27, 2026

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

May 25, 2026

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

May 25, 2026

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

May 24, 2026

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

May 23, 2026

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

May 23, 2026

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

May 22, 2026

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

May 22, 2026

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

May 22, 2026

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

May 22, 2026

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

May 22, 2026