14 funny receipt quotes - Wordgag

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

May 18, 2026

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

Apr 1, 2026

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Mar 31, 2026

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Mar 30, 2026

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Mar 28, 2026

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Mar 28, 2026

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Mar 27, 2026

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Mar 26, 2026

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Mar 26, 2026

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Mar 26, 2026

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Mar 25, 2026

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Mar 25, 2026

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Mar 25, 2026

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Mar 25, 2026