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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Just landed via Reddit:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Spotted on TikTok:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Breaking via WeChat:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Doing backbends for love, but he's still the one getting possessed by good vibes 😂🙃💃

backward, bend, bend backward, cowgirl, exorcist, humor, i, position, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl, sex, sex position

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

1 month ago

activity, boredom, door, doorbell, front, front door, fun, fun activity, happiness, happy, i, joy, sheer, sheer boredom, unexpected, unexpected joy
My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

4 weeks ago

another, asking, chores, dog, family, feed, humor, humor about pets, i, kids, parenting, pet, pets, responsibility, walk
When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

1 week ago

bedtime, fear, humor, i, night, past, scared, sleep
The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

1 month ago

back, cleverness, confidence, everywhere, humor, i, identity, secret, shirt, staff, success, wear, workplace
Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

3 days ago

bank, being, broke, charge, fee, finance, going, humor, irony, money
There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

1 month ago

am, dislike, honesty, humor, i, irony, me, people, self-awareness, self-deprecation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Trending via Slack:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Live now on Pinterest:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Going viral on Slack:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Just shared via Facebook:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Breaking via Telegram:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

No amount of daylight can save us.

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

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Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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