Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Spotted on Discord:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Just shared via TikTok:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Going viral on Facebook:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

1 week ago

Witty quote about adult embarrassment over childhood injuries, with a humorous and playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the shame of adult knee skinning – welcome to the elite club of toddler injury survivors! 🦵👶 Let's face it, trying to play it cool after a knee scrape can be a real test of one's grown-up facade. Walk it off, fellow adult toddler! 😉

adult, childhood, embarrassment, humiliating, humor, injury, knee, pain, toddler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

38 shares on Slack this month:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

82 shares on X this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Shared recently on Discord:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Just landed via X:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Just shared via Discord:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Live now on Messenger:

Life is weird and then you die.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

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