Commentary:
Life in plastic, it's not as fantastic as it sounds 😂🦵🔊
93 Funny pain quotes
Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just reach for the Diet Coke instead 🍋➡️🥤🔫😅
You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.
Commentary:
Double the ibuprofen, double the fun! Just don’t mix up your GPS for the bathroom! 😂🏃♂️💊
Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.
Commentary:
Ah, the 40s—the decade where your back decides to play a fun game of "Guess the Trigger"! 🎯😅✨
I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.
Commentary:
When you realize the only good kind of hot chili peppers are the ones you eat, not the band at your wife's secret date night 🌶️🎸😭
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.
Commentary:
When you finally claim the entire bed but then ruin it with a rogue pillow move 😂🛌💥🦒 #SleepAdventures
Ouch! My cognitive decline.
Commentary:
Looks like my brain just hit the snooze button… again!
Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.
Commentary:
Recommending emotional turmoil one book club at a time 📚💔😂
time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.
Commentary:
Running from time like it's auditioning for a horror movie villain role! 🕒🔪😂
What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just remember they're probably going to explode now. 🍋💥😅