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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Trending via YouTube:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Live now on Twitch:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Going bananas on Discord:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Humorous quote about sleep addiction and morning alarms with playful, witty words.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sleeping is my favorite addiction, my cozy bed is like the shadiest dealer in town, and my alarm clock? Well, it's the biggest snitch of them all! 🛌💤🚨 #SleepingBeautyTurnedSleepingCriminal"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

75 shares on Threads this month:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

44 shares on X this month:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

19 shares on Slack this month:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Trending via Messenger:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Trending via TikTok:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Spotted on Twitch:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

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