Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sleeping is my favorite addiction, my cozy bed is like the shadiest dealer in town, and my alarm clock? Well, it's the biggest snitch of them all! 🛌💤🚨 #SleepingBeautyTurnedSleepingCriminal"

alarm, bed, drug, police, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Social media is mental suicide.

2 months ago

exaggeration, health, humor, life, media, mental, mental health, mental state, modern, modern life, network, social, social media, social network, state, suicide, technology
Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

2 months ago

analogy, car, children, driving, emotional, emotional regulation, emotions, feelings, health, humor, mental, mental health, regulation, self-control, stuff, trunk, want
Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

2 months ago

annoyance, around, conversation, etiquette, everyone, hate, noise, people, public, speakerphone, talk
I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

2 months ago

blow, fix, generation, humor, i, nostalgia, old, old school, punch, repair, school, single, technology, TV
Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

2 months ago

adult, adults, being, children, funny statement, humor, should, statement, twin, twins
Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

2 months ago

chips, eating, entertainment, humor, multitasking, snack, subtitles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

71 shares on X this month:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Shared recently on YouTube:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Spotted on Instagram:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Just shared via Facebook:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Seen just now on Slack:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Social media is mental suicide.

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨