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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
James Cameron must have mistaken Pandora for his personal streaming service 📺🌍😂

Avatar, cameron, complaint, criticism, film, film criticism, humor, james, James Cameron, movie, need, sequel, should, somebody, tell, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

0

2 months ago

anger, emotions, experience, family, humor, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, sister
If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

0

5 months ago

cooking, heart, intuition, just, meal, much, non-baking, pretty, pure, pure heart, vibe, vibes
How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

0

2 months ago

dark, humor, irony, life, light, Monday, time, weekend
You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, before, comfort, comfort zone, even, funny observation, home, house, introvert, know, leaving, observation, personality, personality type, social, social anxiety, type, want, zone
I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

0

5 months ago

background, background noise, downstairs, family, humor, i, mum, name, noise, noises, relatable, shouting, song, songs, swear
There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

0

2 months ago

attempt, failure, hate, humor, i, nap, nothing, rest, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Twitch this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Going bananas on Threads:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Live now on Telegram:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Live now on Instagram:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Going viral on X:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Just shared via WeChat:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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