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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Spotted on Threads:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Going viral on Slack:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Live now on Slack:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

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Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.
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Commentary:
"Let's face it, dodging social gatherings like a pro is not exactly an Olympic sport 🤷‍♂️. But hey, at least you've mastered the art of 'Me Time' like a true connoisseur! 🏅 #SocialAvoidancePro #IntrovertLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

26 shares on Slack this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,473

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Freshly posted on Slack:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Live now on Instagram:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Just shared via Slack:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Making waves on Threads:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Going viral on Facebook:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

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