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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Trending via Telegram:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Making waves on Pinterest:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to multitask like a pro! Typo today, traffic stop tomorrow! 🚗💨📱 #SteeringAndSpelling"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I told ChatGPT about us.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

These aliens are taking forever.

Just shared via Threads:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I love having plans to cancel.

Making waves on YouTube:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

They’re making me do work at work.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Trending via Facebook:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Trending via YouTube:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

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