Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Just landed via Twitch:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Spotted on YouTube:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Live now on Messenger:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Trending via Telegram:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Going viral on YouTube:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful warning about typos caused by driving, with a humorous and lighthearted tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to multitask like a pro! Typo today, traffic stop tomorrow! 🚗💨📱 #SteeringAndSpelling"

apology, distraction, driving, humor, posts, sorry, texting, texting while driving, typo, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on YouTube this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

86 shares on Threads this month:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Going viral on WeChat:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Live now on Telegram:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Just shared via X:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Just shared via Messenger:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨