37 funny posts quotes - Wordgag

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

May 25, 2026

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

May 25, 2026

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

May 25, 2026

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

May 25, 2026

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

May 24, 2026

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

May 24, 2026

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

May 24, 2026

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

May 24, 2026

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

May 23, 2026

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

May 23, 2026

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

May 22, 2026

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

May 21, 2026

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

May 21, 2026

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

May 21, 2026

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

May 21, 2026

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

May 21, 2026

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

May 20, 2026

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

May 20, 2026

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

May 20, 2026

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

May 19, 2026

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

May 19, 2026

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Apr 1, 2026

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Mar 31, 2026

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Mar 31, 2026

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Mar 30, 2026

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Mar 30, 2026

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Mar 30, 2026

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Mar 30, 2026

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Mar 30, 2026

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Mar 30, 2026

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Mar 30, 2026

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Mar 30, 2026

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Mar 30, 2026

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Mar 30, 2026

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Mar 30, 2026

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Mar 29, 2026

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Mar 29, 2026