Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Trending via WeChat:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Just landed via Reddit:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Just shared via YouTube:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Just shared via Reddit:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Making waves on Discord:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Seen just now on Instagram:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

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Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.
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Commentary:
"Breaking news: Professionalism redefined! 👩‍💼💁‍♂️ Addressing work emails with a touch of sass and a sprinkle of confusion. Get ready for the recipient's puzzled look followed by a chuckle. Who said corporate life couldn't be fun? 😄 #EmailEtiquetteGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on TikTok this month:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Overthinkaholic!

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Just landed via Discord:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Trending via TikTok:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Trending via TikTok:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I think God was high when he made me.

Making waves on TikTok:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

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