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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

54 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Going viral on X:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Breaking via Slack:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Just shared via Twitch:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Going viral on X:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Trending via LinkedIn:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Going viral on X:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

6 months ago

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

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Commentary:
"Breaking news: Professionalism redefined! 👩‍💼💁‍♂️ Addressing work emails with a touch of sass and a sprinkle of confusion. Get ready for the recipient's puzzled look followed by a chuckle. Who said corporate life couldn't be fun? 😄 #EmailEtiquetteGoals"

communication, concern, email, emails, humor, sarcasm, today, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

54 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Just landed via Discord:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Breaking via Reddit:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

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