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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,914

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Spotted on Twitch:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Just landed via Facebook:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

7 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess it's time to choose my "Official Scapegoat of the Year"! 🐐😆

blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, person, pick, problem, problems, sarcasm, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

1 month ago

4pm, activity, bedtime, close, debate, humor, i, need, night, riled, start, thing, time
My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

1 month ago

asked, engine, give, good, Google, humor, i, ID, joke, me, plumber, rating, review, search, search engine, thought, wit
Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

1 month ago

3, accomplish, animation, brevity, comparison, entertainment, girl, girls, hours, humor, Marvel, minutes, movy, need, powerpuff, Powerpuff Girl, superhero, time, why
You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

1 month ago

activity, date, eat, funny observation, know, observation, person, popcorn, seen, snack, social, social activity
I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

2 months ago

curiosity, different, discovery, explosion, food, humor, i, popcorn, vegetable, wonder
Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

1 month ago

alone, being, day, humor, irony, joke, just, loneliness, love, nobody, relationship, remember, sad, single, Valentine, year

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Spotted on Snapchat:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Going viral on YouTube:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Men need women, women need men. The end.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

You are my favorite dirty thought.

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Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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