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Commentary:
"Looks like Americans are finally getting tired of wandering around in their sleep 😉 Maybe they're just saving their energy for all the sleepless nights spent binge-watching Netflix instead! 😴🚶‍♂️ #SleepWalkingGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

1 month ago
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Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

1 month ago
accident, billboard, car, distraction, drive, driving, humor, irony, reading, safety, said, text, texting
A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

5 months ago
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“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

5 months ago
attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit
Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

1 month ago
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I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

1 month ago
breaks, burglars, door, front, front door, humor, i, keep, me, night, safety, sleep, valuables, wake

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Trending via WeChat:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Just shared via Messenger:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

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Activity Log ✨

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

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Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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