Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Just shared via Twitch:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Just shared via Facebook:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Just shared via Twitch:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Just landed via Discord:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Going viral on Threads:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you try to explain your drama to your parents: 🚒 + ⛽ = 🔥🔥🔥 #Whoops #FuelToTheFire"

advice, analogy, fire, frustration, gasoline, humor, parent, parents, problems, put, telling, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

0

2 months ago

busy, humor, looking, office, people, productivity, pros, types, work
According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

0

2 months ago

appetite, bacon, breakfast, cooking, exaggeration, family, food, humor, i, just, meal
There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

0

2 months ago

duality, humor, inner, inner struggle, inside, joke, landlord, me, struggle, tell, wolf
I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

0

2 months ago

25, accomplishment, alive, collection, feeling, hobby, humor, i, never, random, screw, time, used
With great power comes a great electricity bill.

0

2 months ago

bill, electricity, expense, great, humor, irony, power, responsibility
I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

0

2 months ago

birth, birthday, celebrate, hope, humor, i, naked, party, screaming

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

52 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Going viral on WeChat:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Making waves on X:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Just shared via Facebook:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Going viral on Threads:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Freshly posted on X:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨