Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate hack: turning your life into a sitcom! 📺😅
45 Funny telling quotes
I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.
Commentary:
Who needs social media when you can just post your thoughts directly into the universe? 📡🤔🌌
Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.
Commentary:
That moment when kids become the ultimate superhero sidekicks to ward off unwanted attention 😂🦸♀️👶
I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.
Commentary:
Nephew-level savage: 100, Ego: 0. Guess next time I’ll start with just opening the door! 🏋️♂️🚪🤣
Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.
Commentary:
Instructions that really *stack* up! 😂🧱➕📏
Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.
Commentary:
Trying to negotiate with a cop like they're a toddler – peak strategy! 👃🚔😅
Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.
Commentary:
Can't join the work hustle when I'm busy perfecting the art of extreme lounging! 😌🛋️ #ProRelaxer
Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're setting tickle boundaries and asserting dominance in public! 🚌😄👋
Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.
Commentary:
Trying for a baby: 🎉🥳🥰
Sharing too much info: 🚫🫣🙈
Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.
Commentary:
Clearly, neigh-sayers have no place in this conversation. 🐴🤔