Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,966

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Making waves on Messenger:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Spotted on Slack:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Making waves on Threads:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Caught in the act of indulging in some Nutella straight from the jar – living life on the edge! 🍫🥄 #ChocolateLover #SnackTimeGoals"

activity, comfort, comfort food, corner, eating, food, humor, indulgence, me, Nutella, solo, solo activity, spoon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

0

1 month ago

dislocation, fracture, humor, i, interest, laziness, procrastination
Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

0

4 months ago

attitude, call, constipated, expression, give, humor, i, indifference, me, shit, slang
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

0

2 months ago

ability, aerobic, boredom, exercise, fitness, greek, Greek words, humor, word, wordplay, words
I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

0

1 month ago

data, freak, geek, humor, nerd, office, spreadsheet, work
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

0

2 months ago

analogy, confusion, helicopter, humor, i, know, life, operate, sarcasm
Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, forgetfulness, home, humor, left, life, list, shopping, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

57 shares on TikTok this month:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Just landed via Facebook:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Live now on Threads:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Going viral on Threads:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Shared recently on Slack:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨