Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Just landed via Instagram:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Going viral on TikTok:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Trending via Pinterest:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why dread when you can dance? Saw stepping on toes with those deadly traps! 🕺🔪💃 #FootlooseAndFearful

film, film title, Footloose, humor, joke, movie, pun, saw, should, title, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

0

2 months ago

cell, cell phone, comedy, distraction, humor, i, irony, phone, put, ring, rings, technology, yes
Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, home, people, photo, social media, vacation
There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

0

2 months ago

dating, face, humor, reason, relationship, self-deprecating, single
Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

0

2 months ago

apology, being, being right, correct, correctness, humor, i, right, said, sarcasm, sorry, stuff
The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

0

2 months ago

healthcare, humor, irony, job, money, paramedic, paycheck, profession, seen, thing, workplace, worst
The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

0

2 months ago

appetite, conflict, destruction, disaster, food, humor, irony, me, recipe, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

74 shares on X this month:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Trending via Twitch:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Breaking via Twitch:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Shared recently on Reddit:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Just shared via Facebook:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Going viral on Telegram:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Just landed via Threads:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My recliner and I go way back.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨