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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,076

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Just landed via Telegram:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Going bananas on WeChat:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Spotted on Discord:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Spotted on Facebook:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Going viral on Slack:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Spotted on Threads:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

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The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, boxed wine with aspirations of longevity 🍷😂! If I can last six weeks after opening, I'd be popping the bubbly too! 🥂 #WineGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

99 shares on Slack this month:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Live now on Slack:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Spotted on Discord:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Going bananas on YouTube:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Going viral on Facebook:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Breaking via Messenger:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Shared recently on Reddit:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

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