Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Going viral on WeChat:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Going viral on Slack:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Just landed via TikTok:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Making waves on Discord:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Trending via Reddit:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Just shared via TikTok:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're trying to lead by example but everyone's too busy watching cat videos instead. 🐱📱😆"

attention, authority, example, humor, irony, leadership, motivation, problem

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

0

2 months ago

context, expression, feel, humor, i, imitation, just, know, mean, mimic, sound, voice
Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

0

2 months ago

dairy, food, heathen, humor, intolerance, lactose, tolerate
Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

0

2 months ago

animal, asking, cat, emotional, emotional support, humor, participation, still, support, want
Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

0

2 months ago

belief, billions, existence, humor, irony, nobody, question, superpowers
No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

0

5 months ago

another, appreciation, bit, compliment, compliment from woman, compliments, fellas, just, little, love, means, offense, woman
I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

0

2 months ago

animal, comfort, companionship, happiness, i, just, me, penguin, sad, waddles, want, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

95 shares on X this month:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Making waves on X:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Going bananas on Reddit:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Just landed via Discord:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Trending via Pinterest:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨