Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?
  • I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.
  • You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.
  • Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.
  • I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.
  • I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.