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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Going bananas on Threads:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Just landed via Reddit:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text highlighting rainy day comfort with a craving for six donuts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the famous correlation between rain and donuts – a classic combo like PB&J! 🌧️🍩 Who needs an umbrella when you've got a delicious stack of 6 donuts to keep you company on this wet and wacky adventure? But hey, who's counting when you're enjoying the sweet side of life, right? 😄 Embrace the rain, savor the donuts, and let the good times pour! ☔️🍩"

day, donuts, eat, food, good, good day, humor, indulgence, naturally, rain, treat, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WeChat this month:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

59 shares on Threads this month:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Going viral on Threads:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Trending via Slack:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Live now on Facebook:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

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