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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via Threads:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Seen just now on Telegram:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Trending via Messenger:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Just landed via Slack:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Breaking via Messenger:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Breaking via Facebook:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

2 weeks ago

Witty text highlighting family fun struggles in a humorous way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'fun for the whole family' clearly never tried to organize a vacation with picky eaters, moody teenagers, and grandparents who refuse to use GPS. 🤪👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family fun? More like family chaos! 🌪️😅"

activity, entertainment, expectation, family, fun, humor, thing, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Trending via Twitch:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Going bananas on WeChat:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Going viral on Slack:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Going viral on Slack:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

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