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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Trending via Facebook:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Shared recently on Threads:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Live now on Messenger:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Shared recently on X:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

2 months ago

0

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'fun for the whole family' clearly never tried to organize a vacation with picky eaters, moody teenagers, and grandparents who refuse to use GPS. 🤪👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family fun? More like family chaos! 🌪️😅"

activity, entertainment, expectation, family, fun, humor, thing, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

0

2 months ago

baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, humor, i, Jesus, Joseph, just, life, looking, man, Mary, men, modern, modern life, Nativity, phones, scene, set, technology, waiting, wise, Wise Man
You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

0

2 months ago

dancing, expression, fake, hand, hands, humor, jazz, jazz hand, performance, smile
Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, bite, fantasy, humor, line, real, soon, supernatural, vampire, vampires
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

0

2 months ago

best, conflict, enemy, friend, friendship, guess, humor, i, irony, own, self, worst
Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, asleep, awake, day, fall, humor, just, night, sleep, stay, trying
My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, fight, flight, flyer, frequent, frequent flyer, humor, joke, response, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Making waves on Telegram:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Seen just now on Discord:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Trending via YouTube:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Just shared via Facebook:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Spotted on Pinterest:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Breaking via Telegram:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

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