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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

835 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,997

Funny Quotes Topics

13,938

Funny Quotes Images

10,997

12 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Live now on Pinterest:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Breaking via YouTube:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Trending via Slack:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Live now on X:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Trending via Telegram:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

6 months ago

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like avoiding a civil war comes down to practicality, not just fighting spirit! 💼💰 Who has time for battle when there's bills to pay and deadlines to meet? 😂 Let's settle our differences over coffee breaks instead, shall we? ☕️ #OfficeLifeWars"

afford, civil, civil war, economy, humor, much, priorities, take, time, time off, war, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

835 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,997

Funny Quotes Topics

13,938

Funny Quotes Images

10,997

12 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Making waves on Snapchat:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Going viral on Snapchat:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Just shared via Facebook:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

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