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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

58 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Reported on TikTok:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Breaking via Twitch:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Just shared via Instagram:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Live now on Messenger:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

4 months ago

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine a weekend so long, by the time it's over, you've forgotten what day it is! 🤯📆 Who needs just two days off when you can have a never-ending weekend full of relaxation and procrastination? 💤⏳ Let's petition for the invention of the eternal weekend – because Mondays are highly overrated! 🙅‍♂️☀️ #WeekendGoals"

fun, invent, invention, leisure, long-lasting, relaxation, should, time, time off, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.
6 months ago
Share → : I’m going to hell in every religion.
2 months ago
Share → : I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.
2 months ago
Share → : Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.
6 months ago
Share → : No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.
4 months ago
Share → : I like my bed more than I like most people.
5 months ago
Share → : A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.
5 months ago
Share → : Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

58 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Just shared via Reddit:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Spotted on Instagram:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Trending via Messenger:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Broadcasted on X:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Making waves on YouTube:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

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