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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Shared recently on Slack:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Going viral on Messenger:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Just landed via TikTok:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Just shared via Telegram:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Shared recently on YouTube:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Trending via Facebook:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Just shared via TikTok:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Humorous text about the struggle of dressing up for work, with a playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew adulthood would involve so much effort? I miss the good ol' days of pajamas and cereal for breakfast. Now it's all 'business casual' and 'responsibilities'. Can we just go back to a time when pants were optional?"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

56 shares on Threads this month:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Live now on Telegram:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Spotted on YouTube:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Seen just now on Threads:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Spotted on Threads:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Live now on TikTok:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

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