Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Shared recently on Slack:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Trending via Pinterest:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Just landed via Discord:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Spotted on Messenger:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the loser club doubled in size but forgot to send out the memo! 🤪🎤 #TellingItLikeItIs"

commentary, criticism, enough, feedback, honesty, loser, losers, people, self-awareness, social, social commentary, telling, too, truth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

0

5 months ago

book, book club, club, dislike, frustration, group, humor, just, need, opinion, people, read, reading, same, vent
Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

0

2 months ago

amount, around, clown, entertaining, entertainment, here, humor, satire, think
Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

0

2 months ago

commentary, criticism, enough, feedback, honesty, loser, losers, people, self-awareness, social, social commentary, telling, too, truth
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

0

2 months ago

boys, city, culture, even, fantasy, fantasy humor, Gandalf, geek, geek humor, girls, green, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, me, Moria, nope, parody, pop, pop culture, rings, said, satire, take, too, where
You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

0

2 months ago

bed, bed sheet, end, experience, funny experience, hotel, humor, kicking, know, leg, leg strength, own, power, sheet, strength, unexpected, unexpected power
If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

0

2 months ago

Funny, head, health, hear, humor, joke, mental, mental health, personality, should, think, voice, voices

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Discord this month:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Going viral on Reddit:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Seen just now on X:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Shared recently on Threads:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Just landed via Threads:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.