Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Making waves on TikTok:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Spotted on Messenger:

Coffee is just goth water.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Just shared via Instagram:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Spotted on Threads:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

2 months ago

0

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Like a GPS with a twist of thriftiness! Taking the road less travelled with a sat nav less expensive is the ultimate budget-friendly adventure 🚗💸 Who needs fancy navigation systems when you've got a sense of direction and a bargain in hand! 😄🗺️ #SavingsGoals"

adventure, after, buying, expense, expensive, humor, journey, less, nav, road, sat, sat nav, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

0

2 months ago

advice, always, fun, help, here, humor, outdoor, put, rain, run, summer, suncream, weather
I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

0

2 months ago

food, food humor, head, humor, i, ketchup, love, pun, t, tomato, wordplay
I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

0

2 months ago

anyone, bold, comedy, everyone, here, humor, irony, joke, offend, provocative, sarcasm
The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

0

2 months ago

home, homeless, humor, i, longer, stay
I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

0

2 months ago

anger, angry, critique, entertainment, generation, humor, i, music, real, reason, sucks, think
Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

0

2 months ago

ask, dating, humor, i, irony, married, norms, ok, people, person, personal, personal questions, questions, relationships, single, social, social norms, think, unhappily, unhappily married, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

55 shares on X this month:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

79 shares on Threads this month:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

79 shares on Discord this month:

This meeting could have been a cake.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Going viral on Threads:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Spotted on TikTok:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Just shared via Facebook:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Just landed via Twitch:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

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