Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Live now on Slack:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Breaking via TikTok:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Just shared via Messenger:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Making waves on TikTok:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Going viral on YouTube:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Just shared via Twitch:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

2 months ago

0

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Like a GPS with a twist of thriftiness! Taking the road less travelled with a sat nav less expensive is the ultimate budget-friendly adventure 🚗💸 Who needs fancy navigation systems when you've got a sense of direction and a bargain in hand! 😄🗺️ #SavingsGoals"

adventure, after, buying, expense, expensive, humor, journey, less, nav, road, sat, sat nav, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

0

2 months ago

cold, dryer, humor, i, warmth, wish
Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

0

2 months ago

comparison, cute, dogs, having, humor, me, men, much, own, pet, relationship, too, work
Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

0

2 months ago

humor, language, lead, odd, oddity, pronunciation, read, wordplay
The government even made aliens boring.

0

2 months ago

aliens, boring, even, government, humor, satire
Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

0

2 months ago

am, crossing, drivers, humor, i, point, prove, prove point, underestimate, willingness, zebra, zebra crossing
Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

change, ever, excited, excitement, food, humor, kid, likes, new, parenting, tomorrow, unpredictability

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

60 shares on X this month:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

91 shares on Threads this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

50 shares on Threads this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

59 shares on X this month:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Just shared via Reddit:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Just landed via Threads:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Just landed via TikTok:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Freshly posted on Discord:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

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