41 funny buying quotes - Wordgag

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

May 23, 2026

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

May 23, 2026

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

May 23, 2026

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

May 23, 2026

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

May 23, 2026

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

May 23, 2026

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

May 22, 2026

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

May 22, 2026

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

May 22, 2026

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

May 22, 2026

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

May 21, 2026

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

May 21, 2026

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

May 21, 2026

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

May 20, 2026

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

May 20, 2026

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

May 19, 2026

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

May 18, 2026

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

May 18, 2026

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Apr 1, 2026

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Apr 1, 2026

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Apr 1, 2026

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Apr 1, 2026

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Apr 1, 2026

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Apr 1, 2026

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Apr 1, 2026

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Apr 1, 2026

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Apr 1, 2026

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Mar 31, 2026

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Mar 31, 2026

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Mar 31, 2026

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Mar 30, 2026

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Mar 30, 2026

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Mar 30, 2026

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Mar 30, 2026

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Mar 29, 2026

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Mar 29, 2026

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Mar 29, 2026

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Mar 29, 2026

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Mar 27, 2026

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Mar 27, 2026