Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Going viral on Threads:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Going viral on Slack:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Spotted on Instagram:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Going viral on Telegram:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to type on a TV with a remote is like trying to write a novel using a potato 🥔📺✏️

experience, experiences, frustration, human, human experience, interface, keyboard, remote, technology, truly, TV, type, typing, user, user interface, using, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

0

2 months ago

aliens, culture, fiction, fitting, hopes, humor, imagination, invasion, movy, parody, science, science fiction, watch
The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

0

2 months ago

back, best, breakfast, diet, food, humor, lifestyle, me, procrastination, sleep, stick, straight
I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

0

1 month ago

attitude, evil, humor, i, losing, love, me, men, personality, remind, self-reflection, sometimes, spark, thinking
Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

0

2 months ago

calory, counting, diet, eating, food, fun, great, humor, irony, math, not eating, super, things
Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

0

2 months ago

1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss
I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, discomfort, feel, honesty, humor, i, making, me, natural, pattern, relationship, say, spot, tendency, uncomfortable, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

78 shares on X this month:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Going viral on Instagram:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Going viral on YouTube:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Trending via Snapchat:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨