Commentary:
When I saw the price of takeout, I suddenly remembered that dusty can of beans has a Michelin star 🌟🍽️🍛
50 Funny using quotes
Peak adulthood is when you start using the phrase ‘they done lost their damn mind’ regarding prices at the grocery store.
Commentary:
When the price of avocados makes me consider taking out a mortgage 😂🥑💸
Adulting = using your lunch break to run errands so you don’t have to do them after work.
Commentary:
When your lunch break turns into a "mission impossible" sequel 😅🕵️♂️🥪
Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.
Commentary:
Warning: Donating your plasma might result in a sudden increase in your household's TV collection! 📺🩸🤣
I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.
Commentary:
Sounds like my car might qualify for a gym membership with all that speeding and stopping! 🚗💨🛑😅
Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.
Commentary:
When your spirit animal is a hibernating bear 😂😴🐻
Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.
Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan until my future self tries to decode those cryptic tweets! 🚀☎️🤔
It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.
Commentary:
When it's so cold, even my phone's ads are doing their community service—warming my hands and soul! 🔥📱😂
Using Twitter means knowing the news a week before everyone else.
Commentary:
Wow, I'm basically a fortune teller with a scroll! 🔮📱😂
If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.
Commentary:
I guess men want to be exclusive and women want to be in the club! 😂🙋♀️🙋♂️ #TrendsettersVsTrailblazers