Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

23 shares on Slack this month:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.