Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Just shared via Messenger:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Live now on Reddit:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Going viral on Instagram:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Going viral on Instagram:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Going viral on Slack:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the produce section could use a few more space bananas! 🍌👽🚀

alien, before, Earth, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, need, newcomer, people, shopping, store

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

0

5 months ago

attraction, compliment, empathy, humor, intelligence, kindness, personality, personality traits, sexy, traits
Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

0

2 months ago

fragrance, humor, irony, old, Old Spice, scent, smell, something, sound, spice
It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, baby, care, embarrassing, embarrassment, face, humor, moment, reaction, silly, silly face
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

0

2 months ago

boys, city, culture, even, fantasy, fantasy humor, Gandalf, geek, geek humor, girls, green, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, me, Moria, nope, parody, pop, pop culture, rings, said, satire, take, too, where
I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

0

2 months ago

am, biweekly, biweekly pay, cooking, DIY, financial, financial struggle, food, humor, i, paper, paper towel, pay, quesadilla, second, struggle, today, towel, week
This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

0

2 months ago

able, age, all nighter, body, change, exhaustion, humor, nighter, pull, same, sleep, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

80 shares on X this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Just shared via Twitch:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Breaking via Telegram:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Trending via YouTube:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Live now on TikTok:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Going viral on X:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Just landed via TikTok:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨