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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Jan 11, 2026

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Spotted on X:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Going viral on Discord:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Making waves on Messenger:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

2 months ago

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to the non-stop party that is Twitter 🎉, where sleep is just a distant memory for us all 😴. It's like a 24/7 pajama party with oversharing and memes as our party favors 🎈🎁. Who needs sleep when you have retweets and likes to keep you awake? 😂 #TeamNoSleep"

humor, insomnia, media, relatable, sleep, social, social media, Twitter, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

1 month ago

16, again, button, buttons, emotional, emotional trigger, family, feeling, feeling old, humor, i, just, lose, nostalgia, old, parent, parents, push, shit, teenager, trigger, visit
I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

2 months ago

afternoon, alcohol, beverage, coffee, day, decision, dilemma, early, half, humor, i, late, morning, procrastination, spend, time, too, wondering
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

2 months ago

dislocation, fracture, humor, i, interest, laziness, procrastination
I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

4 months ago

fatigue, humor, i, less, reincarnation, tired, wish
If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

2 months ago

chocolate, death, death penalty, dessert, ever, hope, humor, i, irony, option, penalty, wish
Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

2 months ago

habit, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, much, paper, paper towel, self-deprecation, towel, unfortunately, wealth, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Reddit this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

84 shares on Slack this month:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

51 shares on Threads this month:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Seen just now on X:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Trending via Pinterest:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Going bananas on Slack:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Trending via WeChat:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

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